Have you ever met someone you just couldn’t shake off your mind ? Someone that inhabits your dreams ever since you laid eyes on him, ever since he talked to you for the first time ?
I did. And it is a scary thing.
You need to make it look as if you have normal feelings towards that one person, so you act uninterested. You obviously stare, at times, but you can’t do it too long. What if that person sees you as you’re compelled by his beauty ? You laugh at his jokes, but never out loud, ’cause wouldn’t it be suspicious ?
It’s a very sticky feeling. You’re not in love, obviously. You know how falling in love feels like, and that is not it. You’re just hypnotized. Fascinated. Under the spell. You’re trapped into that awful and giant place that is your mind, because no matter how much you try to forget how he looks like, so you can have peace, his face keeps coming back into your very own thoughts. In the bus, in your bed, in spanish lessons. He’s everywhere. He has conquered your soul and your soul is weak. It cannot resist.
You’re a stranger to your own body. You do not master it anymore. Your wild, free desires have taken over, and it’s bad. Because in your case, you only desire what you can never have.